parents Jokes

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Listed in date submitted order.

Russell Peters - I'm Indian
All my life I've been identifying myself as an Indian man. I'm always like, I'm Indian. What are you? I'm Indian. Where you from? I'm Indian. What do you mean, where am I from? I'm Indian. And then I realised something. I was born and... more

Dave Allen on Fathers and Daughters
There's an interesting thing between parents. Fathers and daughters and mothers and sons. The girl will bring the boy home for you to meet and because you've talked in liberal terms all your life you have to kind of follow this through.... more

Russell Peters on Gay Indians
About a month ago, I was watching TV with my dad, we were sitting in the living room watching TV. And the gay pride parade was on that weekend. And they were showing the parade right, and all of a sudden these three gay Indian guys came... more

Russell Peters - Somebody Gonna Get-a-Hurt Real Bad
When I was growing up right. I grew up around a lot of black people. Which was fine cause the black people never picked on me. White kids? Not so friendly back then. But every now and then a white kind would come and hang out with us and we... more

Russell Peters - Indian Dad Speaking Jamaican
I felt bad for my dad cause he tried fitting in with my Jamaican friends when I was growing up. You don't want a man from India trying to speak like a Jamaican at any point during his life. My friends would be in the living room and my dad... more

Roseanne Barr on Fat Moms
So I'm fat, I thought I'd point that out. Have you ever noticed that fat people don't think like skinny people... We have our own way of thinking. And have you ever asked a fat person for directions? Cause that is when the difference... more

Bill Cosby - All Children have Brain Damage
My wife and I have five children and the reason we have five children is we do not want six. And those we have we want to get out of the house, before we die. Just to get them out. Because all children have brain damage. Now those of you who... more

Roseanne Barr - Mommies Stash
I remember when my older kid found mommies stash. I said "Mommy is involved in experimentations... with a natural substance... that comes off a plant, called THC". And my daughter said, "Yeah, you're giving us all this 'Just say... more

Bill Hicks - Goober Dads
I look just like my dad. That scares me to death. Afraid I'm going to wake up one day and start acting like my dad and I know he was a kid at one point. At what point did he become a goober? That's what I want to know. Shoot me the day before that... more

Russell Peters - Start Beating Your Kids
I think one thing that separates immigrant families from the regular Canadian families you know. Does not matter where your parents are from, they weren't born in this country they will whoop your ass when you are growing up. It does... more

Bill Cosby - Children Are Truthful
People don't understand children, especially people who have no children. A person with no children say "Well I just love children". You say "Why?" And they say "Cause the child is so truthful. Children are truthful, that's what... more