celebrity Jokes

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Listed in date submitted order.

Dave Chappelle - Taken to the Ghetto
I was taken to the ghetto once, that's the worst when you're taken and you're not expecting to go. Usually you want to know when you're going to the ghetto like: I'm gonna see some wild s***, I gotta prepare myself to see something crazy.... more

Dave Chappelle on Celebrity Worship
I almost protested the war in the beginning. Almost. Till I saw what happened to them Dixie Chicks. I said, f*** that. If they'll do that to three white women they will tear my black ass to pieces. I don't wanna hear that s***. Yeah, man,... more

Dave Chappelle on OJ Simpson
This is not the time to be a black star. They're locking all our stars up. Black celebrities. Its a witch hunt for us, man. God damn it. Its all OJ's fault. Ever since OJ got away, white people just been locking up our stars, one by one.... more

Dave Chappelle on the Michael Jackson Trial
The kid said he's dying of cancer, he was in Make-a-wish Foundation. He claims he had two weeks to live and it was his dying wish... to meet Michael Jackson. Come on, man, give me a f***ing break. This kid is ten years old, he don't remember... more

Denis Leary - No MTV, CTV
Do you know what I don't want on MTV? I'll tell you what... Aerosmith, Vanilla Ice and Cher. No Crosby, no Stills and no Nash. No bald guys, no fat guys, no fat-bald guys that look like history professors OK? REM? No. Marky Mark? No. P.M.... more

Richard Pryor on Being Famous
One thing about a public toilet is if somebody recognize my ass. You know, cause you could go in the toilet all your life. You go in the toilet and take a s*** and nobody say nothin. They may make a face when you leave, right? But they see... more

Roseanne Barr the Diet Industry
I hate the entire diet industry. It's a bazillion dollar a year scam that uses fat people as lab rats and Guinea Pigs in cahoots with big drug companies that know that fat people will take anything if you tell them it's going to make them... more