alcohol Jokes

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Listed in date submitted order.

Dave Allen on Irish Wakes
A very important part of the Irish way of life is death. See if anybody else anywhere else in the world dies that's the end of it they're dead but in Ireland when somebody dies we lay them out and watch them for a couple of days. It's called... more

Robin Williams on Alcohol
I had to stop drinking alcohol cause I use to wake up nude in my car with my keys in my ass! Not a good thing. "Hi, can I help you? No it's just flooded! I'll be OK!" Don't you see? You're sucked into thinking that beer is a healthy thing. Cause... more

Woody Allen the Vodka Ad
Let me start at the very beginning. I did a vodka ad, that's the first important thing. A big vodka company wanted to do a prestige ad, and they wanted to get Noel Coward originally for it. He was not available, he had acquired the rights... more

Robin Williams on Woman in Comfortable Shoes
Woman, you know why men buy you all those Long Island Ice Teas. They want to get to know you as a person. Liar! They want your mind to take a hike so they can go Hahahaha you find me repulsive! Cause men when they drink they don't care any... more

Dave Allen - The Evils of Drink
An old drunk is on his way into a bar when a nun standing outside the bar suddenly speaks to him. "Your drinking is the easy road to evil and damnation. Drink will pollute your body and soul. Give up the foul spirits and live a better life!".... more