Robin Williams on Golf - Comedy-Quotes.com

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Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer). Photo of Robin Williams Go drinking with a Scotsman. Cause you can't fucking understand them before. You land in Scotland and they're going "Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah? Sure. Oh, fuck sure, eh? Sure! Oh sure, you dumb fucking bastard." And you realize how drunk they get, they could wear a skirt and not care! And how they could invent a sport like golf. "Here's my idea for a fucking sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole." Oh, you mean like pool? "Fuck off pool! Not with a straight stick, with a little fucked up stick! I whack the ball, it goes in a Gopher hole." Oh, you mean like croquet? "Fuck croquet! I put the hole hundreds of yards away! Oh, fuck yeah! There's big fun there! Yeah yeah." Oh, like a bowling thing? "Fuck no! Not straight, I put shit in the way! Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you fucking ball. And go hacking away with a fucking tire iron! Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you're gonna have a stroke! Fuck that's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you're gonna fucking die! Oh great, oh and here's the better part. Fuck, this is brilliant! Right near the end, I'll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you fucking hope. But then I'll put a pool and a sandbox, to fuck with your ball again! You'll be there trashing your ass, jerking away in the sand." And you do this one time? "Fuck no! Eighteen fucking times!" There you have a sport! The manly sport of golf, where you can dress like a pimp and no one will care. Where even a blind gay man would go, Oh, dear Christ! Those are loud, this is not carnival! What the fuck are you on? Even the alligators going, Ass hole!
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