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No mutha fucker will ever admit they had a heart attack. No sir I never did, I had indigestion one time. Them mutha fuckers hurt! I don't care what anybody tells your ass. I was walking in the yard and something said... "Don't breath no more!" I said "Huh?" It said "Don't breath no mutha fucking more you heard me!" OK, I wont breath, I wont breath. And I tried to ease a little air inside of my mouth and it said say "Mutha fucker didn't I tell you not to breath? You told me not to breath". You told me not to breath. "Well where you going why are you walking! Stand still mutha fucker! Get your ass down!" OK, I'm down, I'm down. Don't hurt me, don't hurt me. "Shut the fuck up, you thinking about dieing aren't ya?" Yeah, Yeah. "Well why didn't you think about that when you was eating that pork? Drinking that Whiskey and snorting that Cocaine? I been thinking about it, I been thinking about it. Shut the fuck up!" That's when you put an emergency call into god.... "Please this is an emergency can I talk to god? "...I'll have to put you on hold!" And your heart gets mad if it finds out you was going behind it's back trying to talk to god. "Was you trying to talk to god?" No I wasn't. "You's a lying mutha fucker!" I woke up in the ambulance and I was looking at nothing but white people, staring down at me. I said Ohh god, I been fucked around and wind up in the wrong heaven.
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Richard Pryor, 1978
Suggested by Carmen
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