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One of the main problems in this country (Israel) is trying to figure out who's a Jew. Every time some one wants to come in here if he claims he's a Jew you don't know if he's a Jew and it's a big disagreement in this whole country. How do you know if a man is a Jew right? Now you're only considered a Jew if you were converted by an Orthodox Rabbi. If an Orthodox Rabbi converted you you're a Jew. Conservative Rabbi then you're half a Jew tops... Unless it was a reformed Rabbi. In that case you're a Puerto Rican and that's it. Unless we find out he's a big contributor, then we talk it over.
Jackie Mason, 1996
Suggested by Ryan
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