Jackie Mason on Dating Fraud - Comedy-Quotes.com

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Photo of Jackie Mason I have a girlfriend. My girlfriend to me is the most wonderful, most remarkable person to me in the world. That's to me, but to my wife... An average guy makes a date with a girl, right away he has to spend 100, 200, 500, 900, I make a date with a girl it costs me nothing. Nothing. I come up to her house, she want to go out, I let her go. What's my business? I have to follow her around. But lets be honest, why does a guy take a girl out in the first place? He takes her out so he can be with her when she comes back. I'm there already, where am I going? There's another fraud. The whole dating system in this country (US) is a study on the mockery and fraud and chicanery and deception, that's all it really is. The most honest man in the world, as soon as he meets a lady becomes a liar and a fraud. Every man. I don't care who he is. Right away he starts out, "Hello, did you eat yet?" Every date starts out with that question. "Did you have dinner?" What the hell has dinner got to do with what you want from this girl? You took her out for the dinner? Is that what you want from this girl? A date has nothing to do with the dinner, lets be honest about it. A guy takes a girl out for only one reason, cause she appeals to him sexually. It's not nice to mention it, but it's sex. If it wasn't sex he'd take out his bother-in-law. But you can't mention sex because it's not nice, you're not suppose to want it. She's allowed to do it, but not if she wants it. She's not suppose to know what you want cause she's not suppose to know that that's what she's going to do. She's suppose to convince herself that she don't intend to. She don't want to, she never heard of it. So you have to figure out how to get there without talking, so she can do it, without hearing it.