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I've got this dog that's 10 months old. Very sweet dog, lovely little puppy thing. You know what he likes to do? He likes to fuck teddies. That's endearing isn't it? Isn't that sweet? Ohh yes he likes to fuck a teddy from time to time. That's the bit they don't tell you in the book... "By the way they do like to fuck a teddy..." And he's in love with a Panda at the moment that we got from school fate and what bothers me about the whole thing is he likes to do it in front of people. That upsets me that bit of it you know cause I reckon if that was my little fetish I would wait till everyone was out of the house... "OK have a nice day out, OK bye, call before you get back, OK bye.... right where's that fucking teddy bear." But he'll wait until we've got people around, we're all having a drink and we're all around together and it's his contribution to the evening. He kind of looks at me and goes "I'll just go and get my teddy..." Ahh god. I'm flushing and christ knows how the Panda's feeling.
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Jack Dee, 1998
Suggested by picman
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