George Carlin on Getting Old - Comedy-Quotes.com

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Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer). Photo of George Carlin The best thing about getting old is you're not responsible for remembering things any more, even important things. "But it was your daughters funeral." I forgot. You can even make believe you have Alzheimers disease. Ah, its a lot of fun. You look around the dining room table and you say "Who are you people, and where is my horse?" Then you stare at your eldest son and say "Agnes, I havent seen you since first communion." Fucks them up. Fucks them up. They don't know how to handle it. It takes them a week to get over that shit. And they start listening to you a lot more carefully from then on. So don't be afraid to get old. Its a great time of life. You get to take advantage of people, and you're not responsible for anything. You can even shit in your pants. They expect it. I havent tried that yet, but I don't rule it out. I'm keeping my options open. Everything is on the table. Perhaps thats not the figure of speech I wanted right there.
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