Home / Ellen DeGeneres / Judging a Situation
You ever judge a situation and you're totally wrong you find out later? For instance I was in the grocery store. Last Tuesday. It was a couple of weeks ago. A few months ago. About a year ago but it happened, Okay? I was in the grocery store and this guy walks in, real good looking guy, real muscular, athletic looking, looked like he'd just finished working out, kind of stinky. And I looked at him and I thought I bet he really takes care of himself, doesn't buy any junk food at all y'know. So anyway when I was checking out he was right next to me so I just glanced in his basket real quickly and sure enough there was vegetables, bran muffins, bottled water... Halibut. So anyway I thought y'know, there you go. And then I thought I wonder if he drives some little sports car some little convertible something, he just looked like that type y'know so I followed him out into the parking lot. Sure enough, brand-new Mercedes. 77-43 and uhh... One of the good ones. I thought I wonder if he spends all of this money on his car to try to impress people and just really lives in some old shack in some horrible neighbourhood or something like, you can't tell from the car y'know. So I followed him home. Anyway beautiful neighbourhood, I barely got through the gates before the security guard was shutting them and uhh huge house, just white house, with the lawn all pretty, bushes all trimmed like barn-yard animals, you know how they do. But that was outside. You don't know inside. Could be tacky. Could be empty you can't help but wonder that. So anyway after a couple of hours I noticed that he left so I jimmied my way in. Incredible inside. The fabrics on the drapes matched the fabrics on the sofa. Everything was just right. Just beautiful taste. Clean? Not a speck of dust, not even behind the dresser. I thought this guy is just too good to be true. Good looking, takes care of himself, wealthy, calls his mother everyday. I didn't talk to her, she wasn't at home but the maid that answered the phone, Lapeta, lovely lady, she told me but anyway terrific guy right? Next thing you know the guy comes home opens the door screaming and yelling I said just a minute let me turn down the music but just continues to scream and yell "Who are you? What are you doing in my house? What are you doing with my cloths on?" Just questions questions questions. What a jerk. Boy I misjudged that guy.
Ellen DeGeneres, 1992
Suggested by Mikey
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