Eddie Izzard - I'm an Atheist - Comedy-Quotes.com

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Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer). Photo of Eddie Izzard I used to be an agnostic and now I'm an atheist. I'm all for spirituality and I think there's a lot of religious people who've got a certain something. And I believe in us. I don't believe in God. I believe in us, human beings. But if God was there, I think the first line of the Bible should be: It's round. Looks flat, but it's round. Yeah, it spins. It's like a big football, but... Oh, it's very complicated. Imagine you're an ant on a football and you're spinning, but you can't feel it. Shit, shit, shit. Sorry about the slavery. Couldn't get the staff. They seemed to like it. Shit. All right, forget this bit. Right. in the beginning was the Word. Don't you think... If there was a God, don't you think he would have flicked Hitlers head off? Don't you think? You know. Oh, I'm not allowed to do anything. Well, fuck off then. If you're not allowed to do anything then what's the use? Just piss off, and stop asking us to mumble things on Sundays. "Please, could you possibly mumble positive things towards me on a Sunday in the coldest buildings you can find? Please, get some of your senior citizens to wear cakes on their heads. And to mumble ridiculously positive things about me." No. He should have just flicked Hitlers head off.
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