Dave Chappelle on Weed - Comedy-Quotes.com

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Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer). Photo of Dave Chappelle I've stopped smoking weed... with black people. You didn't let me finish, motherfuckers. God damn. I'm sorry, black people to break the news so publicly. But I can't smoke with you any more. Every time I smoke weed with my black friends. All you talk about. Is your trials and tribulations. I'm sick of that shit. I got my own problems. Thats a waste of weed. I'm smoking weed to run from my problems not take on yours. From now on, I smoke weed exclusively with white people. You got good weed conversation. All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high. I could listen to that shit all night. "Dude, remember at Franks last week, I was fucking smashed, man." And catalogs everything they drink. "I had two shots of Jager, tequila, four bong hits, man... beer, cheeseburger." That shit is great. The only bad part is... You cannot pass out around white people. Every time white dudes pass out around each other... They always do some borderline-gay shit when the guys are sleeping. Frank fell asleep so we, like, stuck a carrot in his ass... And put shaving cream on his balls." Why, muthafuckers? Why'd you do that to a friend of yours? He trusted you to sleep around you. You put a carrot in his ass? Is that nice? I'll tell you, if I put a carrot in a black dudes ass... He will kill you when he wakes up for some shit like that. That is an automatic death sentence on the street. Its a wrap for you. "I'm gonna kill that muthafuckers." I thought you all was friends, baby. What happened? "I fell asleep at his house. We was drinking. I fell asleep at his house... And while I was sleeping, Right... I'm gonna kill that muthafuckers. Thats all you need to know... And fuck carrots."
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