Comedy-Quotes header

Sign In | Register | Suggest Quote | About | Site Map

Logo Comedy-Quotes.com

Home / Dave Chappelle / Taken to the Ghetto

Please note: This quote contains offensive content and is only available to view by individuals 18 years of age or older. By viewing I hereby certify that: I am at least 18 years of age and I do not find explicit content to be obscene or offensive in any way.
Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer).
Photo of Dave ChappelleI was taken to the ghetto once, that's the worst when you're taken and you're not expecting to go. Usually you want to know when you're going to the ghetto like: I'm gonna see some wild shit, I gotta prepare myself to see something crazy. When you're taken it's different. I had a limousine driver, it was after the show, at like three in the morning. I had a limousine driver, he's a nice guy, talking to me and shit. He's like, "Where you from, dog? DC? Word. That's a rough city man." And his cellphone started ringing, he's like, "Hold one one second. Hello? Oh, what's up nigga? What? What the fuck, slow down, what? What the fuck? No! No! No! Fuck it, I'm on my way!" [hangs up] "Hey, I gotta make a stop real quick." At three o'clock in the fucking morning? And I didn't know he was taking me to the ghetto at first. I started looking out the window, see gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store, where the fuck you taking me? This don't look good. He didn't say shit. He just pulled up in front of an old rickety building that looked like a project. I've never been there before, I'm not sure if it was a project, it certainly had all the familiar symptoms of a project. A fucking crack-head ran this way. Then another one jumped out of a tree and shit. The guy said, 'I'll be right back' and left me. Took the keys with him and just left me. At three o'clock in the morning, in front of a project, in a fucking limousine. This was not good. I was like: I gotta look around, find some landmarks, see if I can figure out where I'm at. I might have to escape on foot. Now this is when I know I'm in a bad neighbourhood, you only see this in the worst neighbourhoods. Remember, this was three o'clock in the morning. I looked out the window, and there was a fucking baby standing on the corner. And the baby didn't even look scared, he was just standing there. And it made me sad you know, because I wanted to help the baby. I was like: Mmm mmm I don't trust you either, click! click! (locks the car) The old baby-on-the-corner trick, eh? Not gonna fall for that shit. But where is this limousine driver? As time goes by I start feeling worse, I was like: What the hell is wrong with me, I'm scared of a baby! But this baby could be in trouble, he may need my help. I gotta do something. But I wasn't gonna get out of the car. I'm serious, man. I just cranked the window open a little bit. Hey baby! Baby, go home, man! Its three o'clock in the morning man, what the fuck are you doing up? The baby says, "I'm selling weed, nigga!"
Hide quote

Dave Chappelle, 2000

Suggested by Freddie

34 Votes

Dave Chappelle DVD's, Blu-Ray's and Downloads

Sign In | Register | Suggest Quote | About | Site Map

Logo Comedy-Quotes.com