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Dave Chappelle on the Michael Jackson Trial
The kid said he's dying of cancer, he was in Make-a-wish Foundation. He claims he had two weeks to live and it was his dying wish... to meet Michael Jackson. Come on, man, give me a f***ing break. This kid is ten years old, he don't remember... more
Dave Chappelle on Political Affiliations
White people do not like to talk about their political affiliations. It's a secret. You ever ask a white guy who they're voting for? Hey Bob, Bob, who you gonna vote for? "Dave, Dave whoa, whoa whoa whoa. Take it easy now. Take it easy.... more
Dave Chappelle on Weed
I've stopped smoking weed... with black people. You didn't let me finish, motherf***ers. God damn. I'm sorry, black people to break the news so publicly. But I can't smoke with you any more. Every time I smoke weed with my black friends.... more
Dave Chappelle - Police Intermediary
You'll be walking down the street, and you'll see a group of black dudes walking. Not just any old black dudes we're talking you know... 'thugs'. And in the group they've got maybe one, two some times as many as three white guys with... more
Dave Chappelle on Voting
Even when I vote, which I don't but even when I think about who I would vote for I don't even look at their political policies, I just look at their character. You know what I'm saying now? You gotta read between the lines. Like you know... more
Dave Chappelle on Pepe Le Pew
They use the TV to program us from a young age. You ever watch a cartoon you use to watch when you were little as an adult? Some wild s***! I was with my nephew we're sitting there watching Pepe Le Pew and I say to my nephew "Now pay attention... more
Dave Chappelle on The Police
I'd be scared to talk to the police when I'm sleepy, you'd f*** around and give the wrong idea. Thump! "That nigga was on PCP Johnson! I had to use necessary force! You saw him. No, no paper work... Just sprinkle some crack on him and lets... more
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