Dave Chappelle on AIDS and Monkeys

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Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer). Photo of Dave Chappelle I don't know where AIDS comes from. Who the fuck knows? Scientists don't even know. Scientists still say AIDS started cause somebody had sex with a monkey. Word. After all this research, the best explanation that you came up with. Nobody fucks monkeys and people, you idiot. You either fuck monkeys OR you fuck people. Thats it. There's no in-between. You're not gonna get monkey pussy on Tuesday and then be like, Well let me call Charlene, on Thursday. No. Once you fuck a monkey thats a firm decision. I'm out of the human pussy game for good. Its ridiculous. They act like monkeys are just as open as waiting for people to fuck them, man. Monkeys don't wanna be fucked by people. Think about it. Think about how hard it would be to catch a monkey... and fuck it. Thats ridiculous. Thats how it had to go down. You think you're going to walk up to him in the woods... and bribe this nigga with fruits and bananas? "Hey, buddy, hey. There you go, buddy, yah. There you go, yah. Your big bright red ass. That big bright red booty." Do you know how strong a monkey is? It would rip your dick off like a celery stalk. Throw that shit in the tall grass to never be seen again. Hey, dog, were gonna go to the club, pick up some girls, you trying to roll? "No, man, I'm cool. I'm gonna stay home dog, chill with my monkey. You know how long it took me to train this monkey, suck my dick, without peeling it? Last night, Chimp-chimp jerked me off with his feet Nigga, only a monkey can show you that kind of love and tenderness. So you all keep fucking these people if you want, niggas. No, its monkey pussy for me. I'm hooking up with an orangutan next week. Cause all I fuck is chimps and orangutans."
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