Dane Cook on Suicide Notes - Comedy-Quotes.com

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Show quote | Sign In to save your setting (remove disclaimer). Photo of Dane Cook If you ever choose to take your own life, that's how you should put it in the suicide note, that's elegant right there. Don't say I wanted to kill myself, say: 'I have chosen to assassinate myself. For we the people.' You friends will read that and be like, wow, this is a pretty historic suicide note I've gotta say that. I think that suicide, obviously it's a tender subject but at the same time obviously it's a bit of a selfish act, unless we're talking about clinical depression. It's kind of fucked up when some body, y'know, just leaves us and it leaves you wondering why, and how come they did that to us.

So I have a couple of ideas that's I'd like to share with you. I think the haunting symbolism is what stays with you forever when somebody hangs themselves. It's the rope that's the moment that you capture in your mind, you replay over and over so here's my 2-cents. If you're gonna hang yourself, don't use to old nose and the dusty rope... Umm Christmas lights. Yeah, maybe hang some tinsel off your lifeless body. Wrap some gifties around your feet right. That way who ever finds you is going to be like: "Ohhhhh! The big one is for me! The big one is for me!"

I can't relate to the idea of suicide, I guess I'm one of those people who are always optimistic and up beat but one day I sat down with the intention I said, you know what, just to kind of purge myself, I wanna see what it's like to feel that low. So I decided to write a suicide note. I started to do this and I had an epiphany... A suicide note written by someone who is not suicidal is called an autobiography.
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