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I look just like my dad. That scares me to death. Afraid I'm going to wake up one day and start acting like my dad and I know he was a kid at one point. At what point did he become a goober? That's what I want to know. Shoot me the day before that goober transition. And all dad's are goobers I don't know what it is, life just breaks a man. One day men just wake up and go... "Fuck it! I don't care what people think of me any more. I'm going to wait for the paper boy in my underwear... I'm going to go to the mall in a Bermuda jumpsuit... I'm going to walk around the house in a robe that won't quite close... Hello, daddies fixing breakfast! Who wants sausage?" Dad, you're a GOOBER! I've seen my dad go into Mcdonalds and ask if they serve hamburgers before. Major level gooberosity this. "Scuse me, ya' all serve burgers here?" ...dad just wait in the fucking car, roll the windows up. Luckily the kid behind the counter was acting like his dad. "Wait a minute, I'll check... Nope." Telling you an, you guy's ever find yourself sitting around in the house... not really thinking like that... that goober moment is almost upon you. When that sock starts dangling and you don't care you got some serious fucking questions you better start asking yourself. You're about to start worrying about your lawn. "I wonder how the lawn is..." I be stripped to my Jockey's... Go stand in ma lawn. My goober Castle. Survey my goober domain. Let me pick at my ear at a hundred miles an hour...".
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Bill Hicks, 1989
Suggested by Charlie
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